Two parents, who are leaders in STEM, are taking active steps to ensure their toddler keeps her mind sharp.
Upasna Gautam, 40, and her husband Dr. Christopher Menges, 39, both from Texas, have adopted five intentional, day-to-day practices to help build their 2-year-old’s cognitive resilience.
“What we’re really focused on is building strong cognitive foundations during the most critical window of her brain development and ensuring these neural pathways get built in the first place,” Gautam told Newsweek.
Their approach, she explained, derives from developmental psychology research, advice from pediatric medical experts and their own parenting instincts.
Gautam outlined the five things they’re doing to raise a smarter toddler in a post on Threads (@upasnagautam).
They included: encouraging their daughter to explain her thinking, letting her struggle before they step in to help, going deeper in response to asking why, saying their own mistakes out loud and never finishing their daughter’s sentences.
“When we let her struggle with a puzzle for 30 seconds before helping, I’m communicating, ‘I trust you to handle hard things,'” Gautam explained. “When I ask her to finish her own thoughts, I’m showing what you have to say matters enough to wait for. That builds security. The specialists are absolutely right that unstructured play is critical and that’s exactly what we’re doing.”
“She’s still being a toddler and finger painting, collecting rocks, playing in the sandbox,” she said. “We’re just not doing her thinking for her when she’s already engaged in it. I actually think this approach is less intensive.”
Gautam, a technology leader, and Menges, a veterinarian and epidemiologist, acknowledged the critical importance of these steps, especially in a generation surrounded by AI. They believe if children always rely on tools for answers and solutions, they may not develop the mental skills to do it themselves.
“The ‘protection’ we’re building for our daughter is about making sure these reasoning circuits develop strong and automatic while her brain is still incredibly plastic,” Gautam said. “At 2 years old, she’s in the prime window for building these foundations. We want to make sure she develops the habit of using her intelligence independently, so that when she’s 15 and AI is everywhere, she has the cognitive muscle to think critically about what it produces rather than just accepting it by default.”
Aneal Bharath, an educational psychologist and learning specialist, praised the parents for how proactive and intentional their approach is.
“They’re not trying to raise a kid who can outpace machines, they’re raising a child who knows how to think, and that distinction really matters,” he told Newsweek.
Modeling mistakes, encouraging completion of thoughts and letting children struggle are what he called “smart parenting.”
However, as a healthy critique, Bharath believes that expecting a toddler to explain their reasoning accurately is unrealistic, but the value lies in practice and exposure. At this stage, repetition helps develop their thinking, even if it’s not precise.
Both Gautam and Menges were clear for their reason in mentioning STEM in the first place. The mom explained it was to clarify her own perspective, not because technical expertise is necessary for these habits to implement.
“You don’t need to be a scientist to ask, ‘Why do you want that?’ or count to 30 before helping or say, ‘Mama made a mistake’ when you spill something,” Gautam said. “These are conversational habits, not technical skills. Asking, ‘And then what?’ when your child trails off is something any parent can do, regardless of background or resources.”
Gautam also believes their practices are more accessible than mainstream parenting advice since they don’t require any special toys, educational programs or extra time out of the day.
“I also think many families are already doing versions of this without naming it,” Gautam said. “Parents who can’t immediately jump in every time their child struggles are building frustration tolerance. Parents teaching practical skills like cooking, fixing things, gardening are asking ‘why’ and ‘what if’ questions naturally. The principle of letting kids do their own cognitive work transcends any specific background. How that shows up will look different in every household based on culture, resources, and values, and that’s exactly as it should be.”
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