Bachelor alum Rachael Kirkconnell is opening up about her sex life — or, lack thereof.
“I feel like a virgin again,” Kirkconnell, 29, shared on the October 16 episode of the “Extra Dirty” podcast. “I haven’t had sex way longer than you think. It’s been years.”
Kirkconnell, who split from former Bachelor Matt James in January, explained to host Hallie Batchelder that after going so long without any physical intimacy, she doesn’t want to just “give it up to anyone.” Instead, she wants to ensure that her next sexual encounter will be “incredible.”
“I think that’s why I’m a lover girl,” she continued. “Because I feel like how we felt when we were, like, in high school. I’m not going to say everyone felt like this, but you know how everyone just makes losing your virginity such a big deal? And it’s like, ‘Lose it to someone special?’ That’s how I feel. I’m like, ‘I can’t just give it up to just anyone.’ I want it to be special.”
Kirkconnell and James, 33, called it quits earlier this year after four years of dating. The twosome met during season 25 of The Bachelor, which aired in 2021. After James announced the breakup via Instagram, Kirkconnell claimed days later that her now-ex shared the post just three hours after he broke up with her while they were on vacation in Tokyo.
“I think that I have come to the realization that a lot of it wasn’t me, or my fault or my problem,” Kirkconnell said while sharing her side of the story on a January episode of the “Call Her Daddy” podcast. “And I do think it helped that I had that conversation with him and I heard those things from him. But even if I hadn’t, I think that is so important to acknowledge it for yourself, like, ‘It wasn’t fully me. It wasn’t 1,000 percent completely my fault.’”
While appearing on “Extra Dirty,” Kirkconnell revealed she’s been “chronically single” since she and James called it quits and hasn’t “been on a single date,” or is she on any dating apps. While she noted that she isn’t “judging” anyone who chooses to look for love online, she isn’t sure it would “work” for her.
Kirkconnell also shared that she feels like she could be demisexual. When Batchelder read the definition of demisexual as “a sexual orientation where a person experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with another person,” Kirkconnell replied, “I think that’s me.”
“I can say, ‘Wow, that person is really attractive.’ I obviously find them really attractive, I think they’re really hot, but I don’t care after that, cause they could still be like a terrible person or have the worst personality ever, and that would make me not want to sleep with them because that totally turns me off,” she explained. “I guess their attraction can only get so far for me. Maybe that’s my problem, I don’t know.”
Kirkconnell then suggested that “everyone” be demisexual since it seems like “such a healthy thing to do.” When Batchelder asked her if she was also attracted to women, Kirkconnell said, “I don’t think so, I don’t know,” but pointed out, “It’s all a spectrum, isn’t it?”
While not entirely sure about her gender preference, she stressed how relatable demisexuality’s philosophy of “having an emotional connection” with someone before having sex is for her.
“t don’t think I could go home with anyone,” she said. “I have to feel safe and comfortable with them and be emotionally invested at least in a way that I could see us dating or I at least have a crush on them … It’s not a physical attraction, I guess.”
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