Growing up as one of four siblings, I often felt inadequate and different. My siblings frequently put me down, making me feel not smart enough. Years later, my older sister disclosed a painful memory: when I was young, my mother took me to a psychiatrist for learning disability testing.
The psychiatrist told her I would never amount to anything, never drive, marry, or have a family. Although my mother never told me this, I felt the weight of others’ judgment. I turned to food for comfort, hiding Rocky Road ice cream and Hershey candy bars in my room.
My mother’s failure to address my emotional needs when she found the hidden food led me to overeat even more.
The hardest time for our family was losing our mom at 48. Her sudden death from a heart attack devastated us all. In the aftermath, I gained 20 pounds and moved in with my sister seven months later. She was a godsend, providing emotional support and healthy cooking, which helped me stabilize my weight.
Despite her help, I continued to gain weight after moving back and cooking for myself. I met my husband Jim at 200 pounds, and after years of trying, we had our son Evan. Evan was diagnosed with ADHD and later Asperger’s, which increased my stress and led to my weight reaching 395 pounds by 2016.
Seven years ago, I lost 85 pounds under Dr. Swathi Reddy’s guidance, attending diabetes group sessions weekly. Starting at 395 pounds, I was on numerous medications for diabetes, blood pressure, and cholesterol.
Dr. Jarrod McGahan from urgent care suggested I join aqua classes to accelerate my weight loss. However, COVID disrupted my routine, and the gym I attended closed. I discovered that the gym’s pool reopened in April 2021, and returning to swimming laps was the best decision I ever made. With the help of three wonderful aqua teachers—Katie M., Katie K., and Britney—I began to see progress.
On July 15, 2023, I started working with Derek Conway, a personal trainer at Life Time Fitness.
Derek tailored our sessions to accommodate my arthritis and mobility issues, incorporating exercises like squats, stretches, bench presses, and even dancing, which improved my strength and emotional well-being.
During this period, I was diagnosed with a bladder tumor, which turned out to be benign. With Derek’s support, I maintained a strict low-carb diet, and my health improved significantly. My blood sugar levels dropped from 5.8 to 4.8 in 18 weeks, and my endocrinologist, Dr. Manish Upadhyay, took me off diabetes medication. Addressing my emotional reasons for overeating further accelerated my weight loss—I lost 132 pounds in 10.5 months.
Even after Derek moved to Boston, we stayed in touch through text, phone, and Zoom, continuing my journey remotely. Now, I work out three hours a day, combining two hours in the pool and one hour of biking. I’ve lost enough weight to enjoy activities like kayaking with Jim. After nearly 40 years of marriage, I finally weigh less than him.
The solid program of diet, exercise, and accountability, along with the supportive relationships I’ve built, has made all the difference. Derek’s belief in the power of fitness to strengthen both body and mind has been instrumental in my transformation, showing me how to love and accept myself. He delves deep into what motivates me, showing me how to love and accept myself.
The journey isn’t over yet, but I’m grateful for the incredible progress I’ve made and the supportive people who have helped me along the way.
Maureen Hagar, 73, used food as a coping mechanism for as long as she could remember. She exercises at Life Time, at minimum, three hours a day, and has lost 132 pounds.
All views expressed are the author’s own.
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