New Yorkers are in a lusty state of affairs.
With wintery temperatures below freezing and snow piling up to our eyeballs, the randy residents of the Big Apple and beyond are turning up the heat with polyamory. This, according to a new study that ranks New York in the top five “most polyamorous states in the US.”
In the home of “the city so nice they named it twice,” sexpots prefer it thrice.
“Couples and singles in New York are the fifth most interested in having poly-relationships,” researchers for Sister Wives, a polyamory dating platform, revealed in the recent report. “Often overlapping with LGBTQ+ and kink communities, the city is the perfect place for couples looking to open up their relationships.”
For the findings, experts analyzed the Google search data from 15,000 Sister Wives users, nationwide, to determine how frequently poly-curious folks turn to the internet with their most intimate inquiries.
Questions like, “What is polyamory?”— ethical non-monogamy that allows partners to have multiple, consensual romantic relationships simultaneously — and “What is polyfidelity?”— ethical non-monogamy where three or more people in a closed group agree to exclusively have sex with one another — are being asked “thousands of times every month,” according to the study.
Investigators also found that searches relating to poly-relationships have surged 5,000% in the past 30 days.
And in New York, with an approximate population of over 20 million, three (or more sweeties) is certainly not a crowd.
“New York City is one of the most diverse cities in the world, with a strong culture that accepts alternative lifestyles and encourages people to explore non-traditional relationships without stigma,” noted study authors.
The ever-indulgent Empire State, however, pales in comparison to the laissez-faire lovers of Texas, which takes the No. 1 slot as the most polyamorous state in America.
“With more than 18,000 average monthly Google searches for ‘polyamory,’ it’s no surprise the Lone Star State ranks highest,” said insiders for Sister Wives, adding that Texans make up more than 10% of its subscribers.
“A 2024 study found that Texas was ranked the second-best state for dating, due to its thriving social scene and large number of singles,” continued the pros. “Unsurprisingly, the state’s major cities, Houston, Dallas and San Antonio, also all rank in the top 10 U.S. cities most interested in polyamory and polygamy — providing Texas with its crown.”
Securing second place honors is California, producing over 27,000 Google searches for “alternative relationship” styles each month, while southern neighbors Florida and Georgia take the third and fourth spots, respectively, in the top five most polyamorous states.
But romanizing multiple dreamboats isn’t all freaky fun and games, the analysts warn.
In fact, there are key rules of play that the authorities say can help poly-newcomers navigate the world of unconventional canoodling with finesse rather than stress.
1. Consent and Boundaries Are Key
The first rule is simple and will help you manage your expectations and fulfil all your poly relationship goals: be mindful of your partners. They have their own boundaries and might not always be up for the same things as you are.
For starters, if your partner does not agree to polygamy or polyamory, don’t ignore it. They won’t feel comfortable in such a setup, so you need to make a hard decision, either to leave them and go poly or to stay monogamous. The same goes for partners who agree to a polygamous relationship but with certain limitations; don’t do more than you’ve agreed to.
2. Communicate Your Issues and Expectations Clearly
The second crucial polygamy dating rule is to be clear about your expectations and issues. After all, to know which boundaries not to cross, you first need to be aware of what boundaries exist. This is why, when a problem arises, you shouldn’t get angry or store it in you; talk about it with your partner.
3. Establish Ground Rules
The fourth polygamy dating rule on our list is quite simple. You need to establish ground rules with each partner at the beginning of your relationship. This way, you will avoid misunderstandings that could lead to jealousy or even breakups.
4. Don’t Take Things Personally
Sometimes, your partner just doesn’t have time to meet you; it’s not that they don’t want to. A busy schedule is a characteristic trait of many poly people. At other times, your partner might break up with you, it doesn’t mean you’re any less; they might just be looking for something else or even find it hard to maintain a relationship with all their partners. Hence, you shouldn’t take such things personally; they might happen, and it is fine.
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