Somehow, we’re already halfway through the month! Even though we have some time until the end of July, there have already been plenty of gems on Twitter. Here are some of the best tweets from this month so far:
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!
1.
HBO / Twitter: @vampireprada
2.
got so high I thought I knew someone named Ian
— erin (@ratsnotagain) July 11, 2024
3.
Summit Entertainment / Twitter: @bluemupp
4.
5.
Me: I hate this escape room.Mom: Stop calling the family reunion that.
— Funny Snarky Humor (@FUNNYsnarkyJOKE) July 10, 2024
6.
Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.
— Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) July 9, 2024
7.
8.
“Can you explain the gap in your resume?”“Sure are you familiar with not getting jobs?”
— Cara (@carawithac13) July 9, 2024
9.
One time a friend of mine was cleaning his hot mess of a room and found a whole rotisserie chicken under his bed. I didn’t answer his calls for 2 days after he told me that. I needed space.
— TATIANNA (@TATIANNANOW) July 11, 2024
10.
my AC been on for 16 day’s straight, i hope ConEd take klarna
— Jerms (@LordJerms) July 11, 2024
11.
Fox / Twitter: @soneall89
12.
cancelled my therapy session to go meet the reason hahaha
— alya (@_alialialialia) July 11, 2024
13.
Taking PTO is great bc you get to come back to work more stressed than before but with a tan
— comfy (@ihatethiskid) July 10, 2024
14.
GloZell Green / Twitter: @acquaintf8 / Via youtube.com
15.
You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.
— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) July 10, 2024
16.
it’s so funny to want a masters degree. like relax
— charlie (@BUNNlCULA) July 1, 2024
17.
Fox / Twitter: @enbyslayer
18.
Nickelodeon / Twitter: @joannesbitch
19.
HBO / Twitter: @thefinalenby
20.
Why is everyone okay with the way “Siobhan” is pronounced?
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) July 1, 2024
21.
Just tried a “sorry this is my first day” to a customer’s question and he was like I saw you here two weeks ago!
— shirt dog (@theshirtdog) July 1, 2024
22.
y’all be ordering espresso martinis to be fancy bitch your breath fucken stank!
— ℋ (@42mamiiii) July 1, 2024
23.
I hate opening IG n dem loud ass songs behind y’all pictures attack me
— KT (@KaylanTamia) July 2, 2024
24.
going to the bathroom at 3am using a middle school classmate’s linkedin profile as a flashlight
— ๓๖๕ (@thaifaggot) July 3, 2024
25.
I feel like a single mother of three taking care of myself
— Gülce (@exitsenses) July 4, 2024
26.
i love the day after a cookout i be eating ribs & mac n cheese at 9am
— HNDRXX. (@moreofcee) July 5, 2024
27.
28.
29.
said you wanted a brat summer and now look at you on antibiotics 😕
— someone left the cake out in the rain (@bjorksunibrow) July 6, 2024
30.
Joining a poly relationship and kicking the main one out
— toe lover (post office buddy) (@carobunga) July 6, 2024
31.
Fox / Twitter: @oomfsucks
32.
33.
Put on your slutty dress babe, we’re going to Chili’s
— Suugah Boogah (@N_Doemostmuted) July 6, 2024
34.
goodwill full of shein what’s the point of living anymore
— allie ꩜ ₊ ⊹ (@bookberryfairy) July 7, 2024
35.
a 2-day weekend is actually a 0 -day weekend: saturday is for catching up and sunday is ruined by the pressure of being last. the only True 2-Day Weekend is a 4-day weekend (where the middle two days operate as the proper weekend, free of all baggage)
— aLec robBins (@alecrobbins) July 7, 2024
36.
Just ordered a bloomin onion at Outback Steakhouse and my waiter said “great choice, one hundred emoji”
— caylah (@sacredserenityx) July 6, 2024
37.
A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.
— mahrukh (@parhloumahrukh) July 7, 2024
38.
ABC / Twitter: @wearevibin
39.
i can’t take acid with ugly people i’ll start screaming
— J 🦨 (@yeezzuschrist) July 10, 2024
40.
PE in High School was insane bc wdym I just ran a mile, have 5 minutes to go to change & refresh, & now I have to sit in Math class for an hour???????????????????
— lina.🍄 (@babygirlina_) July 9, 2024
41.
Fox / Twitter: @zxchfxnxcct
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