How far should you go to maintain the social etiquette of a good deed?
This was a central question in a post to Reddit’s “Am I The A******?” (AITA) forum, in which Reddit user u/UsualSuccess7450 asked whether or not he should have switched his premium economy seat on a flight for an economy seat so newlyweds could sit together. After refusing, he was insulted by the man who wanted him to offer up his seat to his wife.
Since the post was published on July 11, it has so far received 22,000 upvotes and nearly 2,000 comments.
“I was flying from Melbourne to Dubai. I paid for a premium economy seat because it is a fourteen-hour flight and I want to be comfortable,” u/UsualSuccess7450 wrote. “The person in the next seat had been upgraded and they asked if I could switch seat with their wife as they had just gotten married and were on their honeymoon.”
Initially keen, u/UsualSuccess7450 congratulated the man and asked him where his wife was sitting. He then realized she was in economy and then declined the favor.
“He asked if there was any way to convince me,” the Reddit user wrote. “I offered to switch if he paid the difference between the seats. It is a goodly amount. I had been lucky to get mine at a decent price.”
The newlywed responded that he and his wife were on a budget for their honeymoon, which prompted u/UsualSuccess7450 to put on his headphones and move on with his flight experience.
“He muttered that I was an a******,” u/UsualSuccess7450 wrote. “I said he was a p**** for taking the upgrade instead of either sitting with his wife or giving it to her. I told my wife about the incident, and she thinks I should have done the nice thing.”
Newsweek reached out to u/UsualSuccess7450 for comment via Reddit.
Planning Ahead Is the Way to Go
Newsweek spoke to etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts about whether or not the Redditor was in the wrong for not offering his seat to the couple on their honeymoon.
While it would have been kind, Grotts said the man was under no obligation to agree to this arrangement—in fact, his offer to accept payment for the seat was generous enough.
“The business class passenger had ‘class.’ He offered the seat for the cost that he paid, and that kind gesture was turned down without appreciation,” she said.
Redditors agreed with Grotts, deeming that the OP was “not the a******” for refusing to fund an upgrade for the man’s wife.
“These people always want to move forward into better seats. They never want to move back to be able to sit together,” one person wrote. “This was probably planned in advance. Guilt someone into switching seats so wifey can move up.”
“Him trying to guilt trip you by telling you he was on his honeymoon was supposed to mean what exactly?” another person wrote. “Why were he and his wife entitled to a $1K gift from a stranger at the last minute?”
Assuming the truth was told, Grotts advised the newlywedded couple that they should have planned their travels in advance to avoid such a disappointment.
“‘Be in the know before you go,'” she said. “That would have been my advice for the newlyweds. Preplanning instead of relying on the generosity of others would have been prudent and increase the likelihood of starting their honeymoon with a little extra comfort.”
For any couple hoping to begin their honeymoon smoothly, she advised: “Book early, use miles to upgrade, or give yourselves a wedding gift of first-class tickets.”
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