Belinda Lawrence was just 43 years old when, back in December 2023, she was told she had a rare type of terminal cancer.
Lawrence said she had been devastated and overwhelmed.
“I’d had an operation two weeks prior for a case of glue ear that I’d had since January. It took until November to get in to see the ENT and it was decided he would install a grommet,” she said.
“It was while he was doing the procedure he noticed that I had some abnormal growth in my sinuses and took a biopsy.”
Two weeks later, Lawrence was urgently called in to the doctor’s office and was sent off for a CT and MRI scan followed up with a PET scan.
The tests returned positive for nasopharyngeal cancer.
“I had no idea what it was or how extremely rare it is until I started to do research on it,” she said.
“I was devastated. I was the same age as my older sister was when she was diagnosed with mesothelioma. I had a complete breakdown and I am thankful that one of my best friends was with me.
“It was a lot to process, but I started making plans to make sure my choices would be followed after I go.
“Choice and ownership are such a powerful thing when you get struck by something so out of your control.”
Despite feeling overwhelmed, Lawrence knew one thing – she didn’t want to “just sit in an urn”.
She said she had wanted to be placed in an eco-pod – egg-shaped pods containing remains which are buried to grow a tree – but they were not available in Australia.
“I started to look into other options,” she said.
“It makes more sense to me to become a part of nature’s life cycle.
“I know my opinion on death and funerals are not the norm but I really think people need to think about these things sooner in life, I’d like to think that even without my diagnosis I would have started planning in advance.”
It was through researching other options she discovered the Wellington Dam – one of four Living Legacy Forests across the country.
Its founder Warren Roberts came up with the idea after losing a friend, who was cremated, and struggling to grieve without a place to visit.
But he felt closer to his friend when walking in nature.
“Instead of chopping down trees to make coffins and space for cemeteries, we can now become native trees and create a beautiful new forest to be remembered in,” Roberts said.
Wellington Dam chief forest officer Peta Bilston said close to 1000 families had chosen to plant a tree to be buried with since the forest opened in 2019.
Many brought their loved ones with them to choose the tree, and sometimes to plant them so they can watch them grow before they pass.
“It can be incredibly healing to have that security, both for those the tree is for and their families,” she said.
“Discussing death is so important, it’s less scary when you do, and it makes you feel less alone when you are the one planning your own funeral.
“It also eases the burden on family members who otherwise might not know what their loved one’s wishes truly are.”
Each tree comes with its own plaque and unique number.
For Lawrence, now 45, it was important her family knew what she wanted.
“I know people don’t like to talk about loved ones dying, but it’s important that you plan ahead – no one ever expects to die suddenly but it happens every day,” she said.
“It took a while to convince [my family] to go visit the forest with me, as by that stage I couldn’t drive down on my own, but they’d watched something on TV about all the different options out there these days and finally agreed to come with me so I could see the forest and pick my spot.
“Funnily enough they liked the forest too and bought the spot next to mine.”
The family planted their trees last winter.
“It was beautiful to get to plant the tree my ashes will help grow one day,” Lawrence said.
“I’ve been back once to see how well it’s grown and I’m working on making another trip down when I can.”
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